Okay friends, we have all been there: It's Monday we've spilled our lunch all over our white shirt, we have a pounding headache,and a meeting in 20 minutes that we are not prepared for. The inevitable happens, it puts us in a bad mood. When this happens we feel done, most of the time it's hard to change our mood, and the whole day is ruined.
I am going to share a few tips to help you feel better when you are down, so let’s take two minutes to ditch your bad mood! Try to implement these easy steps into your life when you are upset to ensure you are not neglecting your self care, as it is extremely important!
You deserve to have good days, sure we all have bad moments but learn how to stop the bad moments from becoming bad days!
Let's first identify what we are actually upset about or angry about. Keep in mind it is probably many things.
List them below:
Keep going if you need to.
Next, identify which of these things are in our control, and which things are out of our control. Maybe some are a combination of both. Or maybe some are just our reaction to something. Note that all of these cases are different; we either have to accept it or change it.
Now the next step to change is to forgive yourself. Everybody does gets in bad moods, everybody has bad days but it is important to remember that God loves us and Jesus died for our sins so that we can be forgiven!
So for the love of God, forgive yourself!
However, this is difficult. It is easier said than done, especially when we are at our worst or if we add anxiety and/ or depression to the mix. Mental health is difficult and we need to recognize that there is no quick fix. Also note that a bad mood is different than anxiety and depression although, this exercise may help. I encourage you to try it, and do some reflection afterwards.
We also need to recognize that our mental health is separate from the person we are. I always think of my anxiety as another person. For me, I picture her as the annoying neighbor who comes over at the worst times. I read a book once, and it had an interesting idea. It was suggested to name your anxiety a really annoying name. I named mine, and you should too.
I named mine “Princess” because she always seems to get her way. When she takes over, I lose control. When I feel my anxiety creeping up, my chest starts to tighten and the world feels as if it is closing in, I just say “Hey go home, Princess!” out loud to myself in the mirror. I know it may sound crazy but it truly makes a big difference. Then I imagine my anxiety walking away.
The power of visualization is amazing! Imagine your demons walking away from you!
So, let's recognize that our anxiety and depression are separate from us. Yes, it takes a toll on our lives and makes our day-to-day grind difficult, but we are perfect and beautiful and mental health does not define you. For now, let's separate ourselves and live in the moment.
Now, what are some of the things you are most thankful for?
1.Family and friends. Sorry, I took the easy one, you will come up with some others, be creative!
What are some things you are really good at?
Note: this feels awkward because we have been taught that not to “brag” about ourselves. But we are awesome! Embrace it!
Now we are going to learn to give ourselves the compliment sandwich.What's this you ask? It is a tool where we disguise our area of improvement (the meat) with two compliments (the bread). We often do this when teaching children, as to not be too harsh and hurt their feelings, but we also need to use this on ourselves. Especially when we are working on improving ourselves or our mood.
For example, I am perpetually terrible at keeping up on the laundry, every week, (usually Mondays) I am running late, can’t find the clothes I need, and it puts me in a bad mood. For my compliment sandwich I would tell myself:
“Sarah, you work really hard but from now on spend 15 minutes twice each week folding laundry and you can avoid feeling this way. You know what you have to do so just make an adjustment in your daily routine and this can be avoided altogether. You are great at managing your daily checklist so this will not be difficult.”
See how I started with something that I am good at, then I suggested a way to make my own life easier? You probably already know how you can do this. You just have to commit to it. Tell yourself how to do it better next time since talking about the future gives you the control. Then you end with another compliment or an encouraging word.
So if we do this to children then why don't we do it with ourselves? Why do we beat ourselves up? And why do we tear ourselves down? We tend to do this when we are already having a bad day or when we are already in a bad mood, which results in just feeling worse about ourselves and digging a deeper hole. What is the point? Let’s stop the cycle.
Now for the end of this exercise let's look around and tell ourselves 5 things that are beautiful.
1. YOU-I knew you weren’t going to pick that one so I did it for you because it’s true!
Here’s the whole exercise to turn your mood around
What are you actually mad, upset, angry about?
Tell your anxiety, depression, or bad mood to go away out loud!
What are some things you thankful for?
What are some things you are really good at?
Give yourself the compliment sandwich
What are some things in your life that are really beautiful?
In identifying all of these things we are able to fill our heart with gratitude. “In a heart filled with gratitude, there is no room for discontentment” -Rachel Cruze.
By ending with the things that are really beautiful we are able to notice that there is a huge world out there and it is beautiful and wonderful; even if we are grumpy the sun shines, the flowers bloom, and people love and support you!
So, invest 2 minutes into your mood and turn your frown upside down because you deserve to be happy and healthy! Don't let yourself live in a funk.
Make today wonderful.
Created by Sarah Z - Bay Area Wellness